; A simple hello, can change alot.

Hello! (: I'm back! How did you all spend your holidays? Was it fun?! HAHA. Well, for me, mine went quite well. I guess. Hahaha. First monthsary on Friday. Was having slight fever, so couldn't celebrate. Even i could celebrate, he didn't reply me until 8pm. So yeah... first monthsary just went away like that, by spending it at home.. yeah. Was quite sad :/.

Anw, shall go on to the topic. (:
This few days, i keep doubt myself. Idk why. I just feel not good enough...
I feel that, i can't make him smile, feel loved, etc... I really dk what to do...
He saw my whatsapp, dw to reply.... Online so many times also never reply. What have i done? :(.... I feel so paranoid now... I have this fear of being forgotten, ignored, or replaced... :/. Hais, idk if he still loves me not, .... idw to ask. I'm really afraid of the answers he give me.

First 2weeks when we are together, he ask me -
Him: What if i break with you? (Just asking, cause i still love you).
Me: I'll feel paranoid, all those.
Him: Will you cry anot?
Me: Yes, ofcos.
Him: Okay, i won't make you cry, <3.

At that point of time, i was so god damn fucking happy.
But now, idk what happen :< . What have we gone wrong?...
I really dw to lose him... I'm so fucking scared now, he keeps ignoring me all these.. Okay, so... i'm gna write this letter to him(not text, just by blogging) :

Hey baby, :).
How are you doing? fine? ... yeah. i hope you're.
Well, have you notice we've been tearing apart?....
Are your feelings fading for me? I don't wish to know..
I'm really afraid of the answers you gave me if i asked you..
I really dk what to do now.........., i feel like crying. Idw to lose you.
I rly dw to... You've been ignoring me these past weeks.... idk what i've done okay... :/..  But you keep acting everything's okay.. You just wouldn't tell me. All those smiles, so fake...  Have you notice i've been crying for you? Do you know how important you're? to me? :'(. After school, you always 8+ then reply me, now? getting later.. Then bout 10+ you sleep... We comminucate so little now... Have you ever wonder how i felt? I don't wish to say anything right now... Cause you might be waiting for the words for me to break it out to you. :'). Idk, that's what i'm concluding. You said you love me, but, you didn't show it out to me. We are more like friends than couples. I feel so paranoid, sad, right now... Now it's 8:56PM, you haven't reply. I shall wait, :')..... If you don't love me anymore, but i still do, always, and forever.  7th's. ❤❤.